Convergence  Friday I was sitting down as Shabbos began and was pondering how, despite trying to learn Tanya, I still felt quite uncomfortable with it. The closest reason I could come up with at the time was that it seemed out of "mainstream" -- or something. The discomfort was sort of vague. Anyway...Rabbi Kaplan is out of town this week, which meant there wouldn't be any drasha or Tanya shiur at the shul this week. Another shul was having a guest lecturer, a "Scholar in Residence" for Shacharis and for an afternoon shiur. So I decided to go there instead. The morning lecture was advertised on the topic of science and Torah. The rabbi really talked more about the superiority of Torah learning over secular learning (for Jews); that our knowledge of the world is finite, but that the Torah is infinite... and I'm thinking "and nu? This was the Tanya shiur for 4 Teves, maybe everyone should just go read that and get it right..." Of course, he's not Chassidic, so that probably wouldn't happen. I wasn't sure I'd make it to the afternoon shiur. I dozed off and was really getting off the couch to go upstairs to lie down. But, once standing, I managed to convince myself that a bit of Torah was worth more than a bit of sleep. The afternoon shiur was about finding spirituality in the world around us. The rabbi was addressing what he saw as a "neglected" area of learning -- a recognition of the spiritual worlds and presence all about us. And I'm thinking that maybe everyone should just start reading the second part of Tanya and get it right..." In the course of the lecture (and both lectures were really quite good) he made a reference to individuals, Tzaddikim who had "elevated themselves" to the point that the only reality to them was G-dliness (he used the example of a Rabbi who could literally not smell the besamim that was being used for Havdalah. Turned out to be because it contained chometz that wasn't sold during Pesach). The point the rabbi made was important, but it suddenly hit me that this is a big difference between the way Chabad looks at spiritual growth and the way many others do. While the latter are looking to elevate themselves, Chabad is saying to get out of the way, or -- as the audio lessons in Tanya said -- to make ourselves transparent to G-dliness. And that, I pondered, may mean that the "mountain metaphor" that I've often used isn't as appropriate as it used to be. In striving to elevate ourselves, we are focusing on ourselves and our own power. Rather we should be focusing on G-d -- the getting out of the way, the transparency. The "gift" for me, was a much deeper appreciation of the wisdom in Tanya. I'll look at it differently now. Baruch Hashem. Shoshana's Page